I'm 3-for-3!

Pickings must be slim.

The local lefty rag here in Tucson, the Tucson Weekly, is a fairly amusing paper I read every now and then just to see what the other side is up to. And, give them credit, they do a better job of bird-dogging the local government than either of the two local "mainstream" yellow-journals. They even print stuff by conservatives! (Well, one conservative, and he's pretty close to where the right-wing raving lunatics meet the left-wing barking moonbats.)

What they do print, though, is letters to the editor, and I'm three-for-three now. The Weekly has a far-left columnist by the name of Renée Downing who publishes every other week or so, who wrote a column for the April 3 edition entitled "A Fine Line" that - to put it bluntly - pissed me off. So I wrote a letter to the editor. And they printed it, almost verbatim. They only edited it for length, and the cut was minor. If you want, you can read it here. (It's entitled "Meet Renée Downing, Hateful Liberal" - I'm not responsible for the title. Scroll down, it's the last one on the page.) That column drew fire from at least one other person. In the April 24 issue, see the letter entitled "Renée Downing's Biggest Fan".

The same week they published my first missive (and after the taking of Baghdad) Renée equivocated with her column, "In Search of Some Good Amusement" and I felt I ought to task her for it, so I wrote another submission. It was accepted. It's in the May 8 issue, entitled "Yet More Love for Renée Downing" (next to last letter on the page).

Well, apparently the criticism got to old Renée, so in the June 12 issue she wrote a column entitled "I Can See Clearly Now" that, once again, inspired my pen keyboard. I was tempted to write a complete rebuttal column, but I knew they'd never print that, so I whipped out a short and pithy piece and wafted it through the ether to them Tuesday afternoon. They called me today and told me to expect to see it in a week or two.

In order to spare you the wait, (like you really care) here it is in its entirety now:

I see Ms. Downing's been affected by the volume (and vitriol) of the mail responding to her op-eds. ("I Can See Clearly Now.")

Alas, her conversion seems somehow...contrived.

The heart of the liberal still beats firmly in that breast. Yes, the caring and compassion of the true liberal still shines through like a beacon. There's no fooling us. She cares deeply about everyone and everything around her. I mean, just read her words:

"I'm a female Republican so reading and listening aren't really necessary for me."

"...those soft, balding, white men who, even in middle age, must struggle every day with crippling mother issues."

Yes, by G_d, she does care about each and every one of us! She wants us to get everything that's coming to us. Good and hard!

But on the off-chance that some of that criticism did crack the liberal shell, I sincerely invite her to join this soft, balding white man (who has no mother issues I'm aware of, crippling or otherwise) at the Tucson Rifle Club where I would be pleased to introduce her to some of the contents of my in-home arsenal so that she can free herself of the crippling fear that most liberals seem to have of firearms in the hands of law-abiding citizens. Any step forward is a positive one, I always say.

I cannot help but wonder if she'll take me up on the offer....