From my friend the Merchant of Death™ comes this text message (ALLCAPS are his):
OH MY GAWD!!! TWO MASS SHOOTINGS THIS WEEK! POLITICIANS TALKING ABOUT GUN CONTROL!! NEED TO GO BUY A GUN!!!! NEVER THOUGHT OF OWNING ONE BEFORE BUT I NEED ONE NOW!!! IT CAN'T COST MORE THAN $200 AND CAN'T HAVE ANY RECOIL AND HAS TO LOOK BADASS! AND I WILL NEVER LEARN HOW TO USE IT PROPERLY...HELL, I WILL NEVER EVEN TAKE IT OUT OF THE BOX!! BUT I NEED ONE RIGHT NOW!!!!(*sigh*)
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