Security Theater

Security Theater

Found at AR15.com, by a member who worked at an airport driving and operating a fuel truck:

As a fueler, we pretty much lived in our trucks. We just didn't have the time to stop and grab a drink, and when you are working in a 100 degree + environment, in the sun, jet exhaust, and in the middle of a 20 acre asphalt frying pan, you either hydrate, or you die. One of the modifications we made to the trucks was the installation of a 5 gallon water cooler. And it was a lifesaver. However, when they caught that liquid explosives plot, the edict came down that no liquids were to be on the ramp. So off came the coolers, and all of our water bottles went into the locked TSA fridge of doom behind a security checkpoint.

Needless to say, our schedule went to hell in a handbasket. (Stopping, driving back, and spending 15 minutes to get a drink of water every 20 minutes is not very efficient. . . )

As a result of the huge number of delays and under pressure from the airlines, the TSA head called all the fuel jockeys in to 'discuss' the problem. We told her that we either got our coolers back, or the delays were to continue. Round and round we went, still no solution. And the TSA girl was getting mad at us for our attitude towards the whole situation. . . .

TSA: "You guys seem to be treating this as a big joke. Why is such a serious matter so funny to you guys?"

K13: "Honestly?"

TSA: "Yes. Why is it so funny?"

K13: "Ma'am, you are afraid that we are going to replace the water in our 5 gallon water jugs with some sort of liquid explosive, is that correct?"

TSA: "Yes."

K13: "And that we might use a liquid explosive to conduct a terrorist attack on an aircraft, or the terminal. "

TSA: "Yes."

K13: "You are aware that as part of my job, I drive a rolling 8000 gallon capacity bomb. And seeing as I haven't crashed it into the terminal, an airplane, or a baggage cart screaming 'Allah Ackbar' yet, what makes you think I'd use a water cooler as an explosives cache. . . . "

TSA: ". . . . . . "

We got our coolers back the next day.

We're in the very best of hands, and I feel safer already . . .