Meme Participation, By Request.

Mostly Cajun asked me to participate in this blogmeme, so I will indulge him. There aren't too many of us industrial power guys blogging that I'm aware of, and I like the guy. Besides, he writes very well.

The deal is as follows:

Following there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other suckers bloggers.

Here’s the list:

• If I could be a scientist…
• If I could be a farmer…
• If I could be a musician…
• If I could be a doctor…
• If I could be a painter…
• If I could be a gardener…
• If I could be a missionary…
• If I could be a chef…
• If I could be an architect…
• If I could be a linguist…
• If I could be a psychologist…
• If I could be a librarian…
• If I could be an athlete…
• If I could be a lawyer…
• If I could be an innkeeper…
• If I could be a professor…
• If I could be a writer…
• If I could be a backup dancer…
• If I could be a llama-rider…
• If I could be a bonnie pirate…
• If I could be a midget stripper…
• If I could be a proctologist…
• If I could be a TV-Chat show host…
• If I could be an actor…
• If I could be a judge…

OK, here we go.

If I could be a scientist, I'd like to study the TOE, the "Theory of Everything." This is an effort to find one grand, unified theory of physics that melds Einsteinian relativity theory to Quantum Mechanics to, well, everything. I'm not that bright, though, and I know it. Somewhere along about my Junior year in college it became blindingly apparent to me that I was qualified for no more than a Master's degree in Physics, and that would qualify me to be a junior test-tube washer in a laboratory somewhere. Which is why I'm an engineer.

If I could be a musician, I'd like to be a vocal artist. Unfortunately I've got a face perfectly suited for radio, and a voice perfectly suited for the print media. But I've always appreciated people with real vocal talent. It would be nice to be a virtuoso on the guitar like Eric Clapton, too, but given my druthers, I'd like to actually enjoy singing in the shower.

If I could be a chef, I'd specialize in baked goods. I love breads and pastries. I do, from time to time, make my own french bread from scratch, and I am pining away for the day that Beyond Bread opens a franchise on the Northwest side of Tucson. Just, damn!

If I could be an athlete, I'd be a professional shooter, of course! My preference would be speed shooting, I think, like the Bianchi Cup and IPSC guys - Rob Leatham, Brian Enos, Doug Koenig, and the rest.

If I could be a professor, I'd like to teach American History with a strong emphasis on philosophy. I'd also like to teach an electives course in the politics and philosophy of gun control. Hell, as much time as I've spent studying the topic, I ought to get an honorary Ph.D. from some school.

OK, for my invites I'd like to hear from Sarah at Carnaby Fudge, Ravenwood of Ravenwood's Universe, and Mike of Feces Flinging Monkey.

UPDATE, 5/1: Sarah has responded.